Unrealistic Goals that will become a Reality. You just gotta Force it.

My goal this summer: to run.

The honest-to-God-truth: I suck at running.

By suck, I mean I can't run a mile without feeling as though my heart is going to burst out of my chest, without my knees aching and my throat closing up. I'm just not athletic. This tiny body you see? 100% because of the magical midget Asian genes bestowed upon me at birth. 0% to do with working out in any sense of the word.

My friends know this well.

Me: Yo, dinner?
Friend: Yeah, in an hour? I need to hit up the gym.
Me: ... WHO ARE YOU? Why do you exist?

Contrary to popular belief, this disdain for exercise does not come from me believing that I'm above it. I'm not proud of the fact that a 50-year-old man in too-tight jogging shorts passed me twice on my run this morning and had the audacity to smile the second time. No, this disdain comes from a very ugly and all-too-human emotion: fear of failure. I do not exercise because I am no good at it. I fear that by putting on my running shorts (who am I kidding? I do not own running shorts. Let me amend this to: by putting on my shorts sans the running prefix) and dusting off my running shoes (these I do own, purchased years ago in a misguided attempt to 'shape up') I will go to the gym, get on the treadmill, and fail.

I'll pass out after 15 minutes.
People will laugh at me.
I must be doing it wrong.
My mother runs faster than I do.
Goodness I look stupid doing this.
What if what if what if???

Yeah, what if? Life is full of these 'what ifs' and if I hadn't challenged them to the breaking point I would not be where I am today. This is why I run. Not because I want to be athletic (I never will be) or because I want a stellar hot bod (okay, I do want this, but that's not the point). I am running this summer because I have recognized running as something I have always wanted to integrate into my life but have always been too afraid to do due to fear of failure.

To this fear I now can only say one thing: BRING.IT.ON.

Each morning I step out of the shower completely naked, no make-up, hair a stringy mess, and I look at myself straight in the eye. I don't smile, I don't laugh, I don't reach for my towel. I say, completely serious: "You the sh*t." I am THE SHIT. And people who are the shit can do whatever the hell they want. Including running.

If I, a 20-year-old Vietnamese-American, born on a rice-paddy in rural Vietnam, raised in an impoverished community in North Seattle, can not only say this out loud but believe it, so can you.

Follow me this summer as I run. As I sign up for a Bikram Yoga course (eek!). As I spend some serious quality time with my crazy family. As I eat sushi. As I try not to go insane in rainy Seattle.  If you have any questions: ask away!